Archive for the ‘Jackass Move’ Category

Is It So Hard to Signal?

Sunday, December 16th, 2007

Why is it that so many people have such a hard time signaling other drivers their intentions? Is it because their left hand is too busy supporting the cell phone to mess with those silly levers, or just total lack of respect?

Every day when I leave my office I have to start out at a traffic light that has another office complex on the other side. It takes 2.5 minutes for the light to finally turn green (time it sometime – extremely long for a light) and there are no left arrows. Both sides have traffic that only goes left or straight (the right turns have their own lane that merges). Since the light has two office complexes facing each other, very few people actually go straight, but every once in a while somebody will, so you have to assume they are if there’s no signal. Once the light turns green, it doesn’t stay green for very long, so if people don’t step up you end up facing yet another 2.5 minutes of wasted life.

Since I spend so much time sitting at this particular light waiting for it to finally turn green, I have a little extra time for observation. It’s my estimation that a full 20% of the drivers opposing each other refuse to use their signals to indicate they’re turning left even though they do turn left. The real rub is that since you can’t assume the person is going left, people have to cautiously pull forward until they know the oncoming traffic isn’t going straight. So as a result of all the inconsiderate drivers who don’t signal, I occasionally get to lose another 2.5 minutes of my life because they couldn’t bother to signal and allow traffic to flow on through quickly enough. Thanks, a lot. Really, it’s so nice to have the extra time to reflect on the kindness of the world.

The Mystery Lane Changer

Saturday, December 15th, 2007

How many times has this happened to you? You’re driving on a highway (with at least 3 or 4 lanes) late at night when traffic is extremely light. There you are, cruising down the middle lane with nobody in sight except one car up ahead in the lane to your right. Once you get close to the other car and about to overtake them, they change lanes so they’re directly in front of you. No car in the emergency lane or anything. In fact, NOTHING on the road at all except them and you.

It just chaps my ass! Seriously, what is that person thinking? Sometimes I think it’s some grand conspiracy against me when that sort of thing happens. Are they just oblivious, or truly trying to be evil? If you’re one of those people, please let me know so at least I could have some insight as to what makes you tick.

I don’t know why it burns me up so badly. After all, it’s easy enough to just go around them since the road is otherwise empty. I guess it’s just the thought that people in the world are truly evil and do stuff like that purposefully just to get their jollies. Back in my youth, these people would have gotten a good old fashioned smoke screen from the emergency break as I passed by them. Now I realize they’re not worth the investment – tires are expensive! Instead I make sure they know I’m on the road, too. A little close passing sends a good message in my book, and windshield washer fluid is relatively cheap! :-)

Just Park Already!

Friday, December 14th, 2007

Where did we go wrong as a society that everybody just has to be right up front? Are people afraid that if they park in the first available spot they may burn up priceless calories from their supersize value meal from the extended walk to the door?

It nearly drives me insane when the land yacht in front of me puts their signal on in anticipation of getting the spot where the current occupants are loading up bags and what not. Meanwhile, there’s an empty space 5 spaces down! They could have parked, made it into the store and already selected several items for purchase by the time they made it into the “prized” spot. But more importantly, I could have made the same progress if they weren’t blocking the lane!

Nobody’s handing out prizes for the best parking spot! Just park your car in the first available spot and move on with your life so everybody else can, too. If that spot happens to be too far by your standards, then you most definitely need the exercise and should relish in that opportunity!

Don’t circle back around for a better spot, don’t stop in the middle of the lane and block everybody else. Just park your car, get your lazy ass out and walk. And while you’re at it, quit your yappin on the cell the whole while!